by jessica
(orange, california)
iam currently involved in a one year live in relationship with a man that i love. i belive he loves me too. We both have been having a lot of issues with our relationship. When i first met him he was struggling to get back on his feet and find employment. I accepted him just as is because i know in my heart he is a good man. I would daily help him get his resume out, schedule him for interviews. He was working a part time job just to make some money vs. nothing at all and i was the one to help him get back and forth to work. He finally landed a job and got himself a car to get him back and forth to work and home. During this process we lacked intimacy and i would ask him why he would not make moves on me, why would he not be more attentive to my desire to be loved and be made love too. He probably would touch me once a month and i communicated with him my needs to be wanted. i asked why was he so distant from me and he said he felt depressed about his job and how he could not help me out and be a man i deserve. Then he went to say that maybe a daily gym routine would probably help him gain his libido issue that he feels he has. We are both 31 and i know in my heart that he does not suffer from and dysfunction. This lack of love he gives me has made me assume the worst from him cheating on me, him not loving me, him thinking i was un attractive and worst of all assuming he was gay. i have cried almost every night for a couple months because i know he is next to me in bed and wont make love to me. Iam constantly picking any fights possible because iam hurt. I dont want to feel pain anymore, i dont want to loose him with all my accusations. daily iam feeling sad and feeling worthless. PLease help me understand
ANSWER:
It sounds most likely that your man is simply suffering from a lack of purpose in his life. To help you work through this and learn how to encourage him without taking personal offense, feel free to enlist the help of a counselor. Feel free to use our chatline...
There is hope!
Merri Ellen :)