I dont know whats wrong with me.
I dont know.
On a typical school day I go to school sad, I try sit by myself in my studies but my friends are always there. Sometimes I get really frustrated by them, I want to plug in my iPod and turn my music up loud and not have to deal with them. It gets a bit better throughout the day, I go from feeling sad to feeling nothing. My friends keep asking me whats wrong every 5 minutes I get so annoyed.
But I feel like the weekend is the worst. I don't like going out with friends anymore, I'm constantly making up excuses why I cant go out. I don't even care what I look like anymore I'm so ugly it doesn't make a difference. I'm such a pathetic person I cant do anything right. Sometimes I feel so emotional that I don't know how to deal with it and no exercise helps, I find myself sitting on my bedroom floor with a pin stuck into my thigh, trying to draw some blood.
But then I have days where I laugh, and days where I will want to talk to people, not go out anywhere but at school i will want to talk to people and socialise. I have a couple good days where I feel almost happy again and I doubt that I ever had any issues in the first place. I don't know whats wrong with me I'm just going to wait for it to pass.
Thanks for sharing. I encourage you to make sure you are first getting the proper nutrition, water intake and sleep you need. The second thing is loneliness and a sense of belonging. For that, I encourage you to plug in. Look for ways to volunteer in your community, be a friend to someone who feels the same way. Volunteering with children can also be a wonderful joy!! :) You may find, in volunteering, some gifts and skills you never knew you had!