I don't like myself x] ...

by Henry (age 17)
(California, United States)

1. Think of the top 3 people you see most often during the week. Are they positive people or pessimistic people? Do they give you a glimpse of hope and joy or do they squash it all?

- I see my mom (always a positive person), dad (he had always taken advantage of my mom and is trying to turn around into a better person, but I still treat him as if he's annoying...), my younger brother (since I'm "sorta" depressed - or I guess I am since I got all YES on the Depression Self-Test - I'm noticing he's getting it too...), and my used-to-be-best-friend (had always been a good friend until I ignored him when he needed me most).

2. Where do you want to see yourself after being depression free? What do you want to be doing with your life?

- I would want to see myself no longer avoiding people, smiling at random people that passes me by, be able to talk to "friends" without fear of hurting their feelings or saying something wrong, keeping a conversation alive without an abrupt end, and being able to help other people without thinking of my own problems.

3. As you think about your depression, what do you think it may be teaching you about yourself?

- I feel that I'm blaming everything on my had-been-unfair-and-violent father and that he'll get better if I actually accept him as someone I love. It might as well be teaching me that I'm selfish and get over myself...

4. What or who makes you angry?

- My family... unfortunately...

5. What or who makes you sad?

- The fact that my used-to-be-best friend doesn't try to help me get back up like right now because I got annoyed when he was talking to me about his problem (I think) because at that time, I was losing my confidence and self-esteem.

6. What or who brings you joy?

- Being able to just do nothing and just relax. I'd definitely like to be able to talk to someone about what's going on with me but since I've got no one to talk to, I'm here =] (No offense... I'd find you and thank you personally if this works out ^_^)

7. What’s one thing, after reading our 6 steps report, that you do not do in your life and you want to start doing this week? (You can skip this question if you haven't yet read our report.)
- I had just begun and on my first step =]


Thanks Henry for sharing here too! I encourage you to apologize to your best friend and let him know that you are suffering which is why you could not be there for him when he had pain. Apologize and if he doesn't respond nicely, be silent and let him go off and be furious. He may come back and understand and accept. Allow him to be furious in his pain too. But indeed apologize. That's my 2 cents. Hope it helps.

- Merri Ellen

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Depression Life Lessons and Goals.