I need help with my loved one.

by David
(Canada BC)

Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and she was diagnosed with depression before we met. she told me it was because of a horrible relationship she had before me.

we live together and for the last 6 months I've really been feeling the stress of her condition. Its so easy for her to go from completely normal to silent and withdrawn, and stay that way for hours, even when were out at social gatherings she cant help but be sad if something comes up. I'm gaining anxiety for this, mean I try my hardest to talk to her about whats on her mind and cheer her up but its getting to the point where it seems its futile to, no matter what, which frustrates me and just makes me give up on her sooner. I know that sounds uncaring on my part but, I'm getting warn out. I've talked to her about going to see some one or even a group and she seem on the fence about it. All I want is some guidance on the best course of action I really want her to be happy.

ANSWER:

David, thanks for your question. Way to hang in there. Keep on with the tough love and say something like: "I love you and want you to experience freedom from this and freedom in our relationship. To let you continue down this path, would be the end of our relationship and I don't want to abandon you. I've made an appointment for you and we are both going to sit with a counselor. You are worth more than what you're experiencing. Let's take a few steps forward together." Just calmly and gently guide her step by step. No coercing. When I was in depression, I needed my husband to lead me by the hand on the next steps.

You can do it David. :)

More help for you...“What to do when depression hurts those around you?”

There is hope!

Merri Ellen :)

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Sep 09, 2015
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by: Felicia

The best thing you can do is to be positive and really try to make her feel the same way! Depression is not an easy thing to handle and I can feel why you are starting to give up.
Oct 07, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Feeling better and hope a solution is found for all with depression
by: AnonDavid Rombergymous

Yes like i said im David. Im on Citalipram and feel pretty good.I have found that drinking can be disrupting to my state and have stopped , not completely i drink a little wine with my wife. When i drank beer i seemed to easily suck down at least 6 to 8my in an evening and have learnded i have tendencies to become combative and feel not heard or put down by family . I felt justiied and they would say i became angry cause i felt that they didnt listen due to my condition. So i started to take a real notice how i change while i drink and have decided to lighten up all together. Depression is something i never understood till i really started feeling closed in. My wife made me feel worse at cause she took the blame and said,I must be your trouble. I first thought no and told her thats makeing me feel worse.what ive learned is i resented her for those feelings and how they made me feel worse. My best advise is to try to stay proactive and show no blame,blame causes resentment. Which drove us futher apart. I have learned to not listen with a sceptive ear amd not to take comments personal, Thats my best responce to feeling better in my life. Hope all can get a better understanding from my heart felt lesson in life and how easy it is to fall. In a sense. Love first and listen to eachother and complement eachother without holding in. I truly love all and want you all to find a solution to getting by without feeling alone. Please write me if you want to hear more about my new understandings. Dont try to think im all done with depression is i have just lightened up on letting it control my life. David

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