by Amber
(Oklahoma City)
1. Think of the top 3 people you see most often during the week. Are they positive people or pessimistic people? Do they give you a glimpse of hope and joy or do they squash it all?
The people I see the most are my fiance, Kris. Lately she's had very bad depression so i've put mine on the back burner. She left a few days ago though to take 'time'.
My roommate Carol Anne is a very pessimistic person. As optimistic as i've always been, she always shoots it down and can't seem to see the good in life anywhere. I keep trying though. But she's still a lot of fun to be with.
The third is my co-worker, Katie. She brings joy in my life. She's always got a good outlook and happy and she is a lot of fun and funny to be around.
2. Where do you want to see yourself after being depression free? What do you want to be doing with your life?
I want my life to be like it was. I love my job and I keep moving up in it, but lately i've taken on a few more days because i've been crying so much. I want Kris to come back and everything to be ok between us. Nothing bad happened to us, she just...left. So i'm really confused.
3. As you think about your depression, what do you think it may be teaching you about yourself?
That sometimes i'm very dependent on people. That I get physically sick when i've been around someone that I love for a very long time and they aren't there for a little while.
4. What or who makes you angry?
Kris makes me angry in the fact that she thinks about herself first. I don't think she is thinking of me at all during this time. I do everything bill wise and I get so upset because I get no appreciation...
5. What or who makes you sad?
Kris treating me like i'm not here. I understand her needing to find herself, but she's practically ignoring me...even when she says it has nothing to do with me, when she talks to others and not to me, when she's laughing and going places with our friends and i'm left at home...it feels like me.
6. What or who brings you joy?
I don't know......As hard as I try I can't think of anything..