Rational depression due to an empty marriage

I feel that my depression is rational and cannot be cured.

My wife of 25 years and I love each other. After 20 years of what I thought was mismatched libidos, counseling got my wife to tell me that she has never been attracted to me. I married out of my league and am still extremely attracted to my wife. I have been forced to stifle my sexual libido so as to not annoy her. We have sex once a month, 3 out 4 times she forces it for me. Since the revelation in counseling my self-esteem is gone and I cannot see a way for me to make the situation better. She has no interest in making a better sex life, it is not important to her. It is important to me and she knows it. I think she does not think it can be improved. We have 3 children, two of them still young. I do not want a divorce as I am convinced my life cannot be better than this.

I have gained weight and am constantly haunted by thoughts of how ugly I am, how bad a lover I must be, how bad my marriage is (I see us as close friends/roommates), and how nothing is going to make it better.

Given my situation, I feel that my depression is rational. Do you agree?


You will absolutely LOVE to read a book called: "The Five Love Languages for Men" and there's a basic edition for couples. It will completely open your eyes to how to fill your wife's emotional tank. I've referred it to many couples and they've been very grateful!! Many were headed to divorce and are now enjoying an intimate marriage. Please get yourself a copy before it's too late.

There is hope!

Merri Ellen

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