abandoned and alone

by Pauline

I had a beautiful husband, married 10 years. I became pregnant with our 3rd child and he changed. He started to withdraw and was verbally abusive. He wasnt affectionate anymore and would barely talk to me. I found out he was having an affair with a woman from work. I fought so hard to save our marriage. Tolerating him going back and forth to this woman. He left me with a 5 week old baby. He now barely sees his children and does not want to know anything about the baby. I am so grief stricken, i just want to die. My whole life has changed. I had to move state to be closer to my family. I miss my friends and my old life. I miss the husband he was. He now changed into this horrible uncaring human being. I feel so stupid for putting myself and my kids through this hell. He doesnt care he has hurt me so badly. I feel like a loser, if I didnt have my kids I would of committed suicide. I dont feel like living anymore. Every day is a struggle. I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel. I feel no one will ever love me because I am so damaged.

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Mar 28, 2013
Comment for adandoned and alone
by: Pam Borum

Pauline, I am happy you put your feelings on this web site. I can see how your life feels like a dead end. When we see our life change before our eyes, it is almost unbelievable. You have it difficult because being a mother of small children is a full time job in itself.

I have a feeling you will not feel alone forever. I am 58 years old and at this point, I hope I can find a way to be alone and happy. If you follow this path with me, you could become what I dream to be, a whole/healthy minded person.

Once this happens, who knows what our future may be. I am writing to you on a good day. I had been in bed for months and couldn't drag myself out. I started working the steps (on step 3) on this web sight.

If you do, you may find some relief for the pain you feel, whether it is physical or emotional. I don't have the relief everyday, but this past two weeks, I have found a little joy, less physical pain, and at time I am empty. Empty is better than feeling emotionally wounded.

What I am trying to say is, I know it is hard, I know "cure" may or may not come, but I know the more days I feel normal, I can draw from them and realize when I am in the pit of depression, I can come out of it. I sincerely hope you can find yourself here also.

Here is a blog I started while following these steps. I needed a place to log my success, since this depression has caused memory problems. If you would like to read it here is the link


Take time to do something nice for yourself. Mothers tend to put their children first and this can deplete any energy you may have to concentrate on your recovery. You are loved.

Pam - Oklahoma - USA

Feb 23, 2011
by: Anonymous

Remember the serenity prayer and accept whatever cannot be changed or is inevitable.Things may not change but you will endure things with happiness and peace of mind.

COMMENT by Merri Ellen: Yes! Great prayer!

The Serenity Prayer goes like this --

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

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