I pray for death...

by Joline

Three straight years of medication jumping, side effects, being sick, and watching my life go down the toilet. I have a husband and four kids, and I couldn't be more disappointed in myself for being a terrible mom and wife. I am so scared I will never know what "happy" feels like. I envy people that are able to just wake up happy and enjoy life. I am so messed up, doctors can't even find a medication to stabilize me. I've gained so much weight in the last 6 months from the add on meds. I fear my kids will only think of me as their "sick" mom who only sleeps. I feel like I am being punished.