For a friend ..

by Henry

Hellooo Mrs.Ellen...

I just want you thank you ahead for taking your time to help us through difficult/confusing times and sorry for asking you questions that do not directly relate to my personal depression (By the way, your course... it's very simple, like the diet, exercise, fish oil, usefulness of sunlight - I actually feel like going to go to a park jsut to read now =D. I'm feeling much much better. ^_^

(For this, I'll be tweaking the names a little =]
I have a friend named "B" who is having a problem with her best friend "C". They had an argument a few days ago and they didn't talk for a day... "B" realized that the argument was really petty so she went to apologize to "C". However, "C" replied that she wanted to keep a distance with "B" to preserve the amount of friendship left in them since "C" has a secret that she can't tell "B" otherwise it'll ruin their friendship. They had been literally twins for at least 3 years, "B" always sticking with "C" and doing everything with her. "B" don't understand why "C" feels that way and came to me for help...

As a background, I used to have an obsession on "B" about 4 years ago, having pictures of her on my myspace without her permission and saying that she was my girlfriend even though she only thought of me as a friend. I'm sure she used to like me before she found out I was obsessed with her - but for the record, I have definitely grew out of it after a few month to get over it). Plus, just for the record, I'm not very outgoing, a more reserved person, spending his spare time in the library at school doing homework (I'm 17 and in 11th grade). I'm basically not someone one would come to talk about their problems since I don't spend time with others....

So "B" came and told me about her situation with her and "B" during brunch (the 10 minute break between 2nd period and 3rd period). I want to help but I'm not sure how. Plus, ever since she came to talk to me about it, my long-buried love for her seems to be resurfacing, and frankly, I feel lonely when I don't see her during brunch, even though I know she'll be coming. But I'm trying hard to surpress that feeling because she doesn't need the extra pressure during this situation nor later, since she has friends that are more fun than I. I want her to spend her time having fun with them again, and not come to someone that's introverted like me.

Since 9th grade, frankly speaking, my social status has been dwindling since I'm being more isolated day by day. There were times when I try to burst out of that zone but it has always backfired and scars me with holes in my heart. But for now, I've been a little bit more sociable after getting my 1st step to cure-your-depression (thanks thanks =D) so I feel like I can go out again and be fun again.
With that said, I want "B" to be happy again, but I don't know if "C" wants to be that way with "B". Sometimes, I think I could keep her happy for that short period of time when she comes to talk to me by telling her jokes and playing a few games but I want her to be happy more than that. So... that's basically why I'm here. I want to help her so she can be happy, but I don't know how to do so...

Thank you for your time... =]

P.S - If you feel anything while reading this, please say it so I can reflect on myself.

Thank you again Mrs. Ellen (sorry if I'm being too polite (^_^)a

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Jan 22, 2009
Henry, your friends...
by: Merri Ellen

Hey Henry,

Thanks for your post and I am glad to hear you are enjoying the e-course so far.

I want to encourage you to speak with your guidance counselor or counselor about your relationships. Being that I am not a certified counselor - I am not really qualified to offer suggestions that are so intimate.

Here's often what I did when I was a teenager and relationships were confusing. I journalled which often helps you to step out of the situation and look at things differently. I also prayed. I know God exists and I know he loves me and cares about my life. I read His Word to understand this. Ask him for wisdom to guide you.

Being a teenager can be a roller coaster so be careful not to act on emotion which you cannot trust. Our emotions are often not firmly rooted. You'll learn this later on in my e-course. Look at facts, act carefully and slowly.

Right now your friends may just need someone to listen and not necessarily someone to solve their problems.

Not sure if this helps. If not, you will want to consider speaking to someone qualified to help.

Don't give up. :)

Thanks again for the post.


Merri Ellen

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