by Kory
(Mexico)
Hi, thanks for your previous answer, I prayed last night and plan on doing it again and again, but I need more advice.
My boyfriend's grandmother became sick and he got worse in his depression, he says she is the only thing that keeps him going and I'm scared that if he looses her he will do something. He doesn't believe in an afterlife so he thinks he'll lose her for ever.
And also he is getting angry with me because he says I'm not helping him, that I don't do what he needs but I don't know what I can do, again, we don't live in the same place, and I don't know, he says I'm not helpful, that I only sit around doing nothing to help him and I really don't know what I can do.
ANSWER:
Thanks for sharing Kory. When a person goes through depression, you have to take what they say and realize it is tainted with depression. For him to expect you to help him over the miles is unrealistic so you have to gently nudge him and yet tell him boldly that you'd love to help him... and that means that he has to listen to your request and help himself and go find a counselor. You can tell him that if you were there with him, you'd make him go because you care about him. He may be angry or say 'no way' and you simply listen and say: "I understand you feel that way, but this is the next step to finding help. You may not want to do it, but you need to. Your grandmother would want you to be healthy, so do it. If your grandmother needed to speak with a counselor, you'd take her to one too."
Be strong, and show him tough love and remember to not respond to his emotions with helplessness but with gentle and firm nudging for him to do the right thing. Respond to him with hope.
Keep praying and keep being firm with him. We who suffer with depression, need a listening ear and then a friend who firmly nudges us to move forward. You are not alone. God is on your side. Don't give up.
There is hope!
Merri Ellen :)