am a 35yr old man. I live at home with my parents and have never been able to move out of home as I am not financially independent. I had lived my whole adult life as obese. I was up to 190lbs (85kg) overweight. I have no tertiary qualifications and no defined career path. I recently lost the best job I have ever had due to my incompetence and my stress. I was in that job for 3 years had recieved a promotion into a position of responsibility that included interstate travel and good pay. I now find myself unemployed due to my own doings. I do not see that I am able to ever find financial independence and I am scared about what the future holds for me once my parents pass. I am unemployed with no guaranteed future employment in a time of global economic downturn. I have been addicted to the drug speed and have beaten that addiction. I faced my debts and my parents helped me with my debt. I now owe my parents $30,000 that I spent on absolute junk, rubbish, compulsive and impulsive buying and poor lifestyle choices. I have never had any self love and have never had a girlfriend that I have had a relationship with.
I have a great, close, loving relationship with my family. My father is successful and is supportive of my mother. My brother is successful, married, buying his house, has a developed career path and a great home. Our love for each other is huge.
I had a lapband and underwent surgery to help me with my weightloss. I was able to achieve a weightloss of 190lbs with self belief, discipline with food and exercise. I used and abused caffiene to help me with my weightloss journey. I believe this changed my neurochemistry and increased my adrenaline to the point where I was caught in a fight or flight response which ultimately saw me lose my employment.
I can see no future of independence ahead. I am seeing my GP and a Psychologist to help me through these dark times. I have made arrangements to get my finances in check in relation to my debts and my superannuation and I am actively seeking work. Still somedays I feel like I am unable to rise and get out of bed. I have cleared out my closet and if I could find a permanent, non messy way out of this hole I find myself in, I would. The thing holding me back is the love of my family and friends and not wanting to put them through the hurt of finding me in death.
Thanks for sharing Matt! You've got quite the story! Now that I have become a glass half full person, I cannot help but hear your story and celebrate! I encourage you to re-read your story and list all the good things that you've accomplished. Sit back and look at those things. Wow! Those were amazing accomplishments. Depression wants to trick you and make you focus on the negative and destroy you. Don't let it. Keep celebrating what good you have accomplished. Start there. Keep the list by your mirror. Keep your mind set on the positive.
Now, about your financial status. I encourage you to go to the library (or google) and read some biographies of folks who came out of bankruptcy or financial ruin and be inspired by their stories (such as Donald Trump or Tony Robbins). Surround yourself with stories of great accomplishment to keep your mind focused. You will be amazed at what this does.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill
"There is no such thing as failure. There are only results." -Tony Robbins
Matt don't give up. There is hope! You are worth it! I hope I have encouraged you.
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