I have always been creative...musically inclined and a writer @ heart. My depression is hereditary I believe...my father,now deceased was bi-polar...never diagnosed by physicians...but,apparent to those that knew him intimately. He was a hospital administrator...prescibed valium by his physician "friends," and an alcoholic. A violent alcoholic...he actually broke my nose @ 26...right after I moved in, with my then 4 yr.old...as my house had burned down prior...nice huh?
I never drank much then...as seeing both parents as alcoholics...it sickened me.
Three years ago...I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer, Stage 3.I had 2 surgeries within 3 mos...as it had matastisized...30 lymph nodes removed with the thyroid gland.My son...fearing he would loose me...tried to commit suicide...deep depression. I was a single parent...and tried to help him to no avail.Always had to be up and positive. He's been on every medication, years of therapy.He is still a mess.
They..my oncologist...told me I had 10-15 years left right after the radiation.So, not only am I trying to keep my son alive...I am told I may be dying...great! I don't believe I am...as I am all about attitude and perserverance etc. And my test results are positive.
But,10 mos ago...I started drinking...bearly keeping afloat with all the medical bills for me and my son...insurance covered 1/10th. It's been hard...last month I quit the alcohol and quit my job.I wanted to change everything,which was partially true, and I couldn't get up for work anymore...all I wanted to do was sleep. And I did after I quit..but, now I feel miserable...always tired and headachy...no energy and I should be out looking for a job. Luckily,I have some savings...but, that's not going to carry me for more than 4 or 5 months...I have to get my act together...and my son does as well. I feel hopeless and if I don't get myself together...I won't be able to help him.
ANSWER: My heart breaks for you and all you've had to go through! Thanks for sharing. Here's a bit of my own story...
There is hope! You are worth it!
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to What does your depression look like?.