Dealing with Depression is exasperating!!!

by Eric
(Tampa, FL., U.S.)

1. Think of the top 3 people you see most often during the week. Are they positive people or pessimistic people? Do they give you a glimpse of hope and joy or do they squash it all?

The Top 3 people I see most often during the week are My wife Debbie, my 9-year-old son Brendan, and currently that is about it. I am in a severe state of depression, and currently spend 18 hours a day sleeping. I am unemployed. My wife and my son are a huge glimpse of hope for me, as is my Faith in God.

2. Where do you want to see yourself after being depression free? What do you want to be doing with your life?

Since I have spent the first 49 years of my life, doing “battle” in a Corporate World, and chasing the once almighty dollar, I want to spend the rest of my years doing God’s work.

3. As you think about your depression, what do you think it may be teaching you about yourself?

Since this is my third major bout with depression, it is teaching me I need to consider a “cure” other than medications that supposedly “maintain” or “eradicate” the symptoms. 1993-4; 2000-1, 2007-8……seemingly there is a 7 year pattern, which is very puzzling to me, and I want to learn about natural remedies. It’s also teaching me that I had better get at the source of this problem, or its going to haunt me forever.

4. What or who makes you angry?

What makes me angry is the bouts with depression seemingly correspond with downturns in the economic climate, which leads to worry, fear, anxiety, and ultimately a completely depressed state. Our own Government and the Federal Reserve, and the Federal Reserve Act of 1913 make me very angry.

5. What or who makes you sad?
Having my 9 year old son and my wife see me this way, and the affect it is having on my family, and our finances. It makes me very sad.

6. What or who brings you joy?

Being able to provide for my family, and see smiles on their faces, and having fun with my family; that truly makes me happy. Spending quality time with my son, and my wife….that’s really what makes me truly happy.

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Oct 08, 2008
E-Course #1 and my Counselor's Response
by: Anonymous

Hello All,

4 days ago, I couldn't get out of bed. I was desperate.

I miraculously came across and signed up for the E-Course consisting of 6 courses.

I also started eating fish at night, and of course drinking my steamed milk, and having a bed-time ritual of listening to waves crash on a beach, with some soft music, from a CD that I found in my CD's coincidentally enough. But, I don't believe in me a "coincidence" is a MIRACLE where God chooses to be anonymous!

The next day, I started to feel a little better.
Its strange, but one thing about this dreaded Depression Disease I have learned through 3 bouts is this: I know when I'm at the bottom of the pit, and can gauge when the tide turns, and I make the fist step to climb back to normal, just by our historical perspective! There really is Hope.

Yesterday, I was able to get up and stay up all day. That is a miracle. So, I went to my Mental Health Appointment today, with the E-Course 1 in Print, COLOR PRINT mind you, so the copies looked professional. I was feeling pretty good, too; not all the way "back" as I like to say, but on my way.

And I told my Mental Health Counselor about my last 4 days.
I gave her a copy of the E-Course and explained my progress over the past 4 days. She perused it and said, "This is very good literature. These are very important steps to recovery". She even kept it, saying she would ".....make copies and give it to her other patients".

I don't have much money, so I'm attending a Community Mental Health Center, and it was comforting for me to know that she embraced it, and endorsed it.

It was my "initial In-Take Appointment", and I am not able to see a Psychiatrist until December. They are just "overwhelmed with people", 80% of which are "depressed" about "their economic state, no job, etc.", which also happens to be the main source, I believe, of my depression.

Well, my wife is saying dinner is ready....yep you guessed it, FISH, and steamed broccoli and a dry baked potato. Then later, the steamed milk, and the bedtime ritual; same time, same place, same "crashing waves on the beach" CD, and its working.....thank you so much. Its working.

There is Hope for all of us, if we take the necessary first steps. Its always that first step that is the hardest. But the reward on the other side of the spectrum awaits us all, and I want to get there desperately. Thanks again Merri Ellen! You are one magnanimous woman, an Angel I believe sent from Heaven Above!! I mean it. God Bless. Eric

Oct 06, 2008
Thanks Anne
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your encouragement. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOUR FAMILY, and to you personally. Eric

Oct 06, 2008
by: Anne Anderson

I know its not easy trying to be positive and to look on the bright side of things,there is no easy answer if there was I think I would have found it. Every day is the same I have to try and get out of bed and start the day some days are better than others. What I have found is that negitive people really do contribute to the depression at the moment Im working with people who never smile or have a laugh even at themselves. Now that is sad for me or for them? I am in my late 50's and have been living with depression and panic attacks since I was 11 long time eh!. Some times it gets so bad I could easly go to sleep and never wake up again but I do, for my husband and children who I love dearly. There are some very famous people who have survived with depression you would be amazed at just how many YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

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