I seem to have had mild to moderate depression all my life. With the occasional severe bout thrown in. It’s hard to explain. I don’t get for example, a period of mild depression and then recover and then a while later get a period of severe depression. It’s like my entire life, every day, I’m in a constant state of mild/moderate depression with no normal periods, no changes no ups or downs. And then every 3 years or so for as long as I can remember, even when I was a small child, I get hit with depression so severe that I want to die. I remember being 7 years old and wishing that I was big enough to climb out of our 9th story window so that I could fall and die.
It got to the point where, because I had never felt any differently. I thought that this was normal. I thought that this was just who I was, just my personality. I only realized in the last six months or so just how wrong I was. I’m going to be 20 next month. And I have no idea who I am, what life could be like without this. My entire personality, even some of the things that I thought made me unique, is nothing but a big collection of symptoms.
My question is this. Is it possible for someone to be born depressed? If so, how on earth do you manage to be normal? How can you grasp for something you have never known?
Holly, thanks for your posting. After doing research in the medical journals, I learned that as infants in our mother's wombs we take on what our mother's ate and often our development is initially affected. Then environment and continued family eating habits affect our continued development. Thankfully studies report that despite this, nutritional therapy can turn it around. Enjoy our research in our e-course to learn more.
There is hope! You are worth it!
Merri Ellen :)
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