by Joe
(United States)
I have had depression for 38 years which has become severe in the last 7 years. It has effected me in ways that bring me sadness and guilt. The depression has caused me to isolate myself from my family wife and children. I feel they would not understand me much and they certainly do not know what i am going through. I see a Dr. regularly and have taken medications for many years which seems to have lost its effectiveness most recently.
The depression has taken its toll on my everyday life. I am barely able to get up in the morning and go to work. I have a profound feeling of not being able to get through the day. Needless to say I like most Christians have prayed endlessly to the Lord for healing and have not had my prayers answered. I still trust in God but I feel that I am losing my hope. I cry in despair wanting to be healed and feel that there is no point in living a life of misery and pain. I just go on day to day so my family can survive and that I can provide for them. I have no other reasons for living. At time I wish that I could trade off this debilitating disease for another illness. It is an incredibly terrible illness having depression. It feels to me like living a continuous nightmare. Nothing seems to change and I often ask for the Lord to take me home. I envy people that are happy and with joy in their heart. What I would do for the chance to be lifted out of depression for good! I hope to be cured one day but I do not know how long my hope will last. May God heal us all who suffer like I do and bring us out of this TERRIBLE sufering!