hi to all and to merri in special.all of this begins with a strong panic attack.I thought i was dieing.they began to bother me in every day.and after anxiety and the depression.I feel my soul is going down and a curtain before my eyes.where am i?it is not me.nothing matters to me.no priorities.no ambitions.nothing is good or bad or beautiful.i have no comments.I am a christian,why i have to be afraid if i die or live?this question stays always in my mind.i didn"t want to see o doctor because i thought that it is my problem,devil is attempting and making me suffer.I used to blame myself till i learned that maybe it is not my fault but the lack of some serotenin in my brain.I began my medication and in this moment i learned about your site.I am very full of hope.I am walking in the morning and working with the diet too.The most painfull thing is dealing with my children.I know i love them so much but i feel i don"t have the feel i had when i used to embrace them,the happiness when my grandson comes back from school.and my husband.How he could live with one like me?sometimes i think to let him have his own life,without me.I am afraid not going to recover.I miss him.when he is not,i look forward to seeing him,but when he is here,i am not.hope you understand.o god.sometimes i have a feeling that takes me back,when i smell a flower,when i see green places and the sun makes me happy for a while.thank you for giving the opportunity to open my heart to you.I don"t do it with anyone else.thank you merri.with respect manjola.
Hi Manjola, thanks for sharing. :) I've learned that there are so many causes to depression - not just spiritual attack. At the simple physical level, we know that lack of sleep, insufficient exercise, the side effects of drugs, physical illnesses, or improper diet can all create depression. Here are eight other major causes of depression... (1) Biological factors, (2) Learned helplessness (sense of being trapped and unable to remedy an intolerable situation), (3) Parental rejection, (4) Abuse, (5) Negative thinking, (6) Life stress, (7) Anger, (8) Guilt.
If any of these spark something, I encourage you to speak with not only your doctor but also a counselor about any possibility. Being a Christian, you may enjoy accessing online Christian counselors here from the comfort of your home.
There is hope! You are worth it!
Further reference: What should a Christian do if overwhelmed with depression?