Pain Tickles Me

by KC
(Langley, BC)

I have not been diagnosed with depression, but I know I have it, and it hurts. I have been clawing up my arms so hard that they bleed and have almost broke up with my boyfriend because I wanted him to get someone better. I am not worth his time. I hurt everyone around me and do not care about myself. I hate eating anything healthy and i hate people in general, everyone thinks I'm strange and dumb and scary. I also pull out my own eyelashes, eyebrows, leg hair, armpit hair, pubic hair, etc. as a show of my own self-hatred. I enjoy pushing everyone away so I could die and no one would care. My mom has basically abandoned me and my younger siblings, leaving me and my dad to watch them. However, since my dad wasn't very helpful with watching us, so that left me watching my 3 younger siblings. All are autistic and I was 11. Thank you for listening to my story.
-Katy, age 16

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May 28, 2013
by: Angel

I've had a problem with depression my whole life as well. Getting some counseling and meds really helped me. It could help you too. I was pretty self destructive and suicidal till I realized that getting help is so much easier than roughing it alone.

I eventually got my childhood memories back and found out that I had a baby brother when I was 2 years old. My father was neglectful. He left the baby in the tub and told me to watch him. He drowned because my arms weren't long enough to reach him. I got a new brother and devoted my life to protecting him from emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. All my life, I'd forgotten how my father would rape me and that my mother tried to suffocate me in my bed.

It took me 21 years, but I'm finally free from that house and those people. It's so unreal. Like I'm living a dream. Just hang on. It feels like forever, but one day you'll wake up from your nightmare and it'll all be worthwhile.

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