Staring up from the bottomless pit

by Anon

I have everything in the world anyone could want, yet I don't even want life at the moment.

Years of chronic lower back pain has worn me down. I am facing "empty nest syndrome". I'm in menopause and I just don't want to wake up anymore in the mornings. I long for an incurable cancer to kill me. I just don't want to live anymore.

I'm really hoping that this e-course will help me, I'm looking into a tunnel and not seeing the light at the end yet.


Thanks for sharing as I was there once too. I'm so glad you came across this site. I also encourage you to find someone to walk through the changes in your life right now - empty nest and menopause. Each of those alone are big changes.

Purpose can also be found in getting involved in your community and making a difference - as much as your back allows. Start small. Even volunteering at your local animal shelter if you are an animal lover is a great start.

Nonetheless, I'm glad you came across this site!

There is hope! You are worth it! Life is worth it!

Merri Ellen

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Nov 02, 2009
the bottomless pit
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the advice, I shall follow it up in some way - not animals though, I have some and I only put up with them for the sake of the family! Apparantly I am de-compensating for the first 25 years of my life which were traumatic due to abuse from the age of 4, both sexual, physical and mental, also neglect - my alchoholic mother wasn't very maternal.

Anyway, I have a lot of pyschological counselling to do, firstly to deal with my chronic anxiety, it escalated into a panic attack the other week which was so awful I thought I was having a heart attack and ended up being taken by ambulance to the emergency dept. This was a cloud with a silver lining, I was referred to my local psychiatrist (it can take years to get an appointment) whom I saw within two days and talking with her, I could see where a lot of my problems stemmed from. She's not a fan of medication, although she has prescribed some meds for me due to the acute symptoms I have.

With hard work and the help of a higher power, I will one day soon be able to laugh out loud at jokes again instead of feeling like crying because I know they're funny but I just can't share the joy.

Just as an aside on Omega 3, I have started taking it, but I've been reliable informed that the oil MUST come from fish, the flax seed Omega 3 does not get absorbed in the same way and has no impact on the brain.

Many thanks for this site and forum, it saved my life once, keep up the good work.


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