unchecked depression surfacing after years and almost destroying my life

Hi Merri,
I am 25. I have been feeling fearful and anxious throughtout my school life. I was very shy and quiet. I would do mischief in a group. I was very doubtful of myself. I clearly remember as a child if someone would stand next to me I would just stop doing whatever I was doing. Be it palying or anything. I always had "Whether I am doing right?" in my mind. In school I had a friend whom I just blindly followed. He would make fun of me, emotionally blackmail me but somehow keep me as his friend. I never told anything that happened with me in school to my parents or anyone. Then I came to college. The shyness and fear were still there. But college means you have to make friends, girl friends.... all this crap was always playing in my mind. I made many friends but no close friends. It was just to spend time together. Then in the last year of college I had a girl friend with whom I broke off in just couple of months. I suffered a very bad time then.. After a year I had another relationship and I abandoned it after 2 years as things were getting very much out of control. I went further into depression and this time it was really really horrible. I would feel guilty and still sometimes do because I dumped the girl. I visited a psychologist and got myself treated. I still feel low, tired and stressed out. Sometimes there is an urge to enthusiastically build myself up and sometimes I just feel low and gloomy. I got your website while searching the web for depression related material. I have read and seen the first lesson on e-course. I will try this out. I am willing to do anything to feel happy and become healthy and successful.

Comments for unchecked depression surfacing after years and almost destroying my life

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 13, 2010
All the best
by: Anonymous

All the best for your future.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to What does your depression look like?.