Want to move on

by Charlotte

Question 1: The most important person I see gives me hope and joy one minute and squashes it all the next, which gives me a constant up and down leaving me mentally totally exhausted.

Question 2: I just want to like myself again, I want to regain self-respect, peace of mind. I want to live life fully, feel enthusiastic about it. Actively pursue things that interest me.

Question 3: It teaches me about my own frustration level over the seeming inability to get over it, to figure it out once and for all and move on. I know it has to some degree to do with an inferiority complex, a feeling of not being good enough, not measuring up, being insignificant, that I just don't count, I don't matter, kind of syndrome. It also teaches me how truly distorted and fatalistic my outlook is whilst in the grips of a depression. I become almost childishly stubborn in wanting to maintain a negative outlook even when part of my brain begins to realize that my thinking is indeed unreasonable.

Question 4: What: If I feel I am being manipulated, used, have promises broken. Who: Friend

Question 5: What or who makes you sad? What: My inability to get over myself, and subjecting myself time and again to those who use me or rather those I let use me. Strife or discord of any kind. Also the realization that I do not live life fully, that I have so many talents and such potential to do infinitely better than I am.
Who: The friends or men I seem to gravitate to that seem to be keen on not wanting to see me progress, as it may threaten their power over me, or that keep me so emotionally drained that I have no strength left to deal with myself as I am too busy being depressed.

6. What or who brings you joy? Intellectual stimulation, harmony, nature, reading, being in tune with myself. I also derive great joy in helping others but need to be so vigilant that my generosity is not being abused. If I can make others happy that probably brings me the most joy.

Question 6: Plan a weekend activity.

Question 7: Have not read report yet

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